no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
