Joe is yelling at the trees again.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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