Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
