We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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