Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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