also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Im part way to drunk.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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