Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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