So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I need help removing her.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
