Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
im calling her cock vulture from now on
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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