I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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