just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
so much tequila, so little girl.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
