he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
it's great music for shaving your balls
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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