You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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