so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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