She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We need to feng shui this bitch.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
