sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
