If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
