took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
