I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
