I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize