I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
