We won't sleep together?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
