plz talk dirty to me
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
did you just send me my own nude
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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