Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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