I want to walk on stilts...naked
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize