bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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