Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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