I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
