she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
