those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
