You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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