And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
