she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
