we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
