i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
