New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
