You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
