Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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