I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the day after is always just damage control
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If I die, sorry about rent.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
