Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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