its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
