you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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