I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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