I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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