I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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