I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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