Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
