take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize