My nipple is on Facebook.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize