this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
