Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
