After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
