Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
