are you still at the devil's house?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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