Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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